I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
we made out on top of his cat.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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