im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
did you just send me my own nude
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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