I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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