I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
two words: eviction party
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
