Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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