just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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