I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
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