Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
