only if we run a train.
done.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
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