you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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