WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Randomize
