You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Randomize
