So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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