you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
