Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
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