Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
