We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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