Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize