I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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