omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
