i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro