We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
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I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
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Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt