Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?