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her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
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