Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
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