Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize