Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
