Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
