i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize