Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
