Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Randomize
