Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize
