shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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