You can't special order awesome
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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