took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
