Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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