but the lizard people decide everything anyway
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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