i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
