his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
