Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
