I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
