Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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