you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
