Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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