Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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