It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
