We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
