wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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