More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
