AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
pop tarts are not kleenex
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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