I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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