dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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