Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
