I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You ruined the universe
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
