i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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