Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
