Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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