It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize