Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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