It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
