you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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