Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
