My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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