he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
