What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
