my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
